The Fine Art of Small Talk Summary

BookSummaryClub Blog The Fine Art of Small Talk Summary

The lowdown: This Fine Art of Small Talk summary will turn you from a “Mia Thermopolis” to an Oprah Winfrey.

Sometimes we find ourselves in situations like a project presentation, a meeting to discuss a new partnership, a friendly hangout to the bar with friends or maybe just an encounter in the elevator.

In these situations, we have the chance to engage a new friendship, relationship or a new business opportunity. However, our ability to start a conversation stops us.

It happens to everyone, don’t worry.

The Fine Art of Small Talk gives tools to deal with this feeling that hinders our conversation ability.

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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills - and Leave a Positive Impression!
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The Fine Art of Small Talk: How to Start a Conversation, Keep It Going, Build Networking Skills – and Leave a Positive Impression!
  • Audible Audiobook
  • Debra Fine (Author) – Debra Fine (Narrator)
  • English (Publication Language)
  • 03/19/2015 (Publication Date) – Canon Publishers (Publisher)

Now that I have your attention, there are three important lessons to learn from The Fine Art of Small Talk:

  1. Take the first move and introduce yourself and push others in the same direction.
  2. Go deep and don’t let the conversation die in a second.
  3. Pay close attention to what the other person is expressing and leave a good impression.
The Fine Art Of Small Talk Summary #networking

Lesson One: Take the first move and introduce yourself and push others in the same direction.

I know, it’s not an easy step to start, but we need to shake that shyness away at some point right?

Did you know that Abraham Lincoln himself felt out of place once he was surrendered by others? Really!? One of the most important men in US history was a silent dude who’d pretty much preferred a silent room than those great speeches? Yes.

But that didn’t stop him from accomplishing everything he did. He took the initiative.

That’s the first thing you should keep in mind if you face yourself in a situation you’re uncomfortable in. Take the initiative to walk right up to your target, smile gently and introduce yourself.

I guarantee you it will work. Encourage your partner to do the same. A “nice to meet you, my name is Lucy and you are?” will always be a good kick off to something great. Except if your name isn’t Lucy.

Don’t let the conversation stop there, make yourself familiar and encourage your partner to tell you more about their life or let others join and speak to them equally. Just keep in mind to be kind and smooth towards them or you’ll scare them off faster than bubble gum can explode.

Lesson Two: Go deep and don’t let the conversation die in a second

If you find yourself in front of a big challenge like approaching that contact at a networking event or talking to that girl in a bar after she glances at you twice and smiles to her shoes, don’t go with questions like “how´s work?” or “So, are you having a good time?”. Because that ship will not seal at all and will definitely die with a “Good”.

Try to go on with deep questions that can lead you to a much greater subject. Make sure they know you’re truly interested in what they have to say and let them share how much they want to share with you.

Even if you’re not the one starting the conversation, set an example.

To keep the sparkle on a conversation just try to take a close look at your partner and change the topics into ones they feel comfortable at the moment.

Lesson Three: Pay close attention to what the other person is expressing and leave a good impression

We love it when we’re heard. And this will absolutely happen if you start a conversation.

In these conversations, it is so important to listen to what the other person has to say. In fact, listening to the other person is far more important than saying the right thing.

Furthermore, show you’re listening. You need to make your conversation partner feel listened to. You can do that not only with verbal pushes like follow up questions about a specific detail of the story, or enthusiastic responses, or even with your body language.

Crossing your arms or finding your glasses and necklace more interesting than what your partner is saying is a total way to kill the moment.

Instead, lean on, nod or smile while you looking at their will definitely let them know you’re interested in what they are saying. 

The other person will have a good impression of you and when you want to end the conversation you just have to excuse yourself with courtesy or with the promise of a new encounter.

My personal takeaway

While I am not traditionally shy, there are times where I am more in my shell or more reserved with people I don’t know, so this book had a great few tips.

I feel that these are simple steps everyone could follow and easily go network with.

Did this summary excite you?

Book summaries are great, but I also really believe that you will not fully understand the book or the author without trying the real thing. Learn more about this subject by listening to the full book for free via Audible.

Put into action

Start conversations, take the first step, make the other feel heard and I can assure your life will change. Make small talk and scale to a deep knowledgeable connection.

You should consider this book if…

I think everyone should read this book at least once in a lifetime. It has tips and skills we can all put in practice and start being an easygoing and smooth person.

Or, read our other business book summaries.

Hey, I’m Erik… a Swedish university student, marketing professional, and life-long learner. Here at BookSummaryClub I summarize my favorite non-fiction books into easily digested posts. Hope you like what you’re reading!

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