Note: This Own Your BS summary was written on behalf of the author.
The Lowdown: Own Your BS is the No-Nonsense Guide to addressing your Female Head Talk
This book is the starting point to a brand that has expanded to include a Podcast, online program, Women’s Weekend Retreats and more that focuses in on helping women to get OUT of their heads with a no-nonsense approach that works.
I’ll be the first to admit that this book, at first glance, could appear to be like any number of self-help books targeting ambitious women.
But the intention of this book was NOT to rehash advice that’s been shared a thousand times before – advice that very rarely causes a significant change in a woman’s life.
It’s short, sharp and straight to the point at an easy to digest 122 pages and is jam-packed with a multitude of what seems to be common sense approaches (until you learn the science behind them) and strategies that really help women to see that ‘they aren’t crazy’ and there’s a reason why simple ‘just think positive’ advice really doesn’t work.
The approach in Own Your BS is somewhat different, but it makes complete sense.
OWN what it is you are saying to yourself. Don’t push it down. Don’t try and replace it with a prettier, more positive sentence. OWN those nasty negative thoughts by working with the emotional charge that DRIVES those thoughts.
The three key lessons from Own Your BS are
- Awareness: Get Real with what you’re telling yourself
- Action: Identify and Neutralise the emotional charge behind the story
- Alignment: Create long term change by working with you Female Factor
Lesson One: Awareness: Get Real with what you’re telling yourself
In order for women to stop sabotaging the success in their personal AND professional lives, they must get real with what they are telling themselves and understand that these stories make or break them.
It’s common practice to try and makes sense of WHY things happen or keep happening. And for a more logical brain (like the male brain) this approach often results in finding some rhyme or reason that allows for acceptance and then progression from the story.
For women though, getting stuck in the circumstance of WHY things keep happening keep you in a loop of negative thinking, all of which is driven by whatever accompanying emotion is attached to the story.
This is why rethinking past circumstances, getting lost in the negative head talk, or simply talking about our problems isn’t helpful long term – ownership of what we are saying to ourselves and what that makes us FEEL is absolutely necessary to change the tune.
One such answer Own Your BS offers readers is to question the nature of the head talk. What are you Doing? What are you Thinking? What are you Feeling? What can you Do about it?
Lesson Two: Action: Identify and Neutralise the emotional charge behind the story
Which leads us to Lesson Two. Action. Because simply Owning your BS (or Head Talk) is only half of the equation.
In order to CHANGE the Head Talk, a woman must Identify what actions are available AND neutralise the emotional charge behind the story.
It’s not simply a matter of ‘think positive’ as that rarely works long term for women but going deeper to neutralise the emotional charge that is driving the story in the first place.
Female Brains ARE different from Male Brains – they are far more emotional and literally perceive the world differently.
As such we need to work with the gender difference of who we are to break negative habits and feelings.
Every chapter of Own Your BS provides readers with options for how they can Action what they learn about their Head Talk, so they aren’t just recognising they have a problem, but actually feel more empowered to do something about it.
Lesson Three: Align: Create long term change by working with you Female Factor
To minimise the impact of ongoing negative self-talk, women’s focus must come back to making decisions that align with what’s important to them.
Women are rarely driven by the big paycheck – what does light us up though is being able to share our success with our children and families, to provide our loved ones with opportunities, and for many, to leave a legacy that positively impacts the world around us.
We must also acknowledge that, as cyclic creatures, there is a natural change that occurs within us every month that impacts everything from motivation, communication abilities, emotional states and the quality of our self talk.
By doing the right things at the right time of the month we limit the amount of internal conflict and open up space for effortless decision making and momentum that naturally inspires actions.
My Personal Takeaway
I love this book. I love that it’s not so much about sharing information that is readily available to anyone who wants to do a google search, but rather shares NEW insights along with practical approaches that women can implement immediately to get out of their heads.
And I love the approach of Owning your BS to put personal power back into the hands of the reader, especially with the downloadable templates the author has provided.
Put it into action
Rather than trying to ‘just think positive’ the next time you catch yourself in a negative mindset, be brave and Own the truth of what you’re saying to yourself. With Awareness you can create an Action step that will inevitably help you to live more Aligned to what success you’re actually chasing.
You should consider this book if….
You are over reading self help books that simply regurgitate information that you’ve previously tried to digest. You’re wanting more of a practical approach to help yourself, one that supports who you are as a woman, because you know that, despite common advice, you simply can’t just “get over it” when you’re lost in shitty thinking.
Bree Stedman Bio
Female Head Talk Expert, Bree Stedman is passionate about helping women stop the negative self-talk that discourages and sabotages their life experience to gain more Emotional Control. For 14+ years, Bree has worked with women in a leadership, mentoring, transformation and educating role.
She has seen the struggle that women experience when it comes to creating a life of their dreams – regardless of skills and experience, the common denominator that affects results is the way women speak to themselves.
In 2012, Bree herself fell victim to her negative head talk, when the line between thought, emotion and action blurred, resulting in undesirable, out of control behaviour towards her young family. Hidden behind a professional ‘I’ve got it together’ smile, Bree hid this private world behind closed doors.
After hitting rock bottom she realised that in order for her to be the mum and businesswoman she truly wanted to be, she had to own her BS and all the excuses, stories and habits that no longer served her.
She turned this journey into a mission to help other mums in business do the same. Her Own Your BS brand is a no-nonsense approach to inspire, educate and empower. You can learn more about Bree, her products and services at www.breestedman.com
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