We all struggle with confidence from time to time.
This What to Say When You Talk to Your Self summary, explains how people can gain a sense of inner confidence. You can get that inner confidence by changing how you talk to yourself.
Most children see themselves as full of possibilities, but as we age, self-doubt kicks in.
It kinda feeds on itself as those messages are self-reinforced over the years, driving us to take fewer risks and pursue fewer dreams.
Positive self-talk, when used accurately, can break those cynical feelings.
Much like a computer, the human mind can be programmed through the use of repeated messages.
You become what you hear about yourself. That includes self-talk.
- Audible Audiobook
- Shad Helmstetter PhD (Author) – Douglas Martin, Shad Helmstetter (Narrators)
- English (Publication Language)
- 05/18/2021 (Publication Date) – Upfront Books (Publisher)
The three main takeaways from the book are:
- Negative thoughts can distort your self-image
- Try listening to pre-recorded self-talk messages
- Unlike other methods for self-improvement, self-talk is permanent and can scale
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Lesson One: Negative thoughts can change your self-image
Okay, time for a personal story.
I used to be a really unhealthy weight. I never thought I’d be able to lose the weight.
And guess what? I never did. It took years to fix that.
Negative self-talk can convince you that you’re incompetent of tasks you are perfectly equipped to handle.
To put it bluntly, your mind can completely mess with everything, even your sense of depth and size.
In the early 1900s, two neuroscientists, Henry Head and Gordon Morgan Holmes conducted an experiment with some crazy results. They tracked women who wore those stupidly large hats of the time. They found that the women would duck through doors even when not wearing the hat.
Similarly, patients with massive eating disorders change entirely the way they see themselves. Some will even turn to their sides to go through doorways. They’ll also do this when there’s more than enough room to walk through.
Our thoughts change how we react and interact with our environment by changing how we see ourselves. Self-talk can help achieve a more realistic self-image that isn’t encumbered by notions based on fear or wrong premises.
Lesson Two: Try listening to pre-recorded self-talk messages
Okay, before you start thinking that playing in traffic sounds more fun than repeating positive affirmations to yourself, there’s an easy way.
Your self-talk statements don’t have to be original.
If you’re a beginner, you’ll probably find it easier to practice the skill if you listen to a recording containing positive statements.
Recordings can be used as a simple and effective way to start positive self-talk.
These days, the audio can be accessed even more easily with the help of smartphone applications. Or, as they say… there’s an app for that.
One such application is called ThinkUp. ThinkUp offers users the ability to record the affirmations they find most useful in their own voices. Listening to your own voice can help reinforce the new perspectives you’re trying to learn.
Those recordings can then be played in the background of a user’s favorite music or can be mixed together with pre-recorded self-talk statements made by others.
By using free or low-cost apps, you can find small moments in your day to reinforce the new thought patterns you’re trying to instill
Lesson Three: Unlike other methods for self-improvement, self-talk is permanent and can scale
If you’re thinking that self-talk is some self-hypnosis con, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
In a 2018 study, researchers found that self-directed change is usually the only kind of lasting reform people are able to achieve.
As people age, they tend to start self-moderating addictive and destructive habits, such as gambling, drinking, and doing dangerous drugs.
These changes in behavior are usually made in stages and without the help of peers.
Self-directed change allows people to approach their unhealthy behavior from a more neutral place, without the societal judgment that sometimes comes with guided addiction recovery.
Because self-talk is entirely self-directed, when you start, it really works. And most importantly, it works for life.
Put It Into Action
Start to complete some positive self-talk. Simple, really.
You can start with an app like ThinkUp that helps, or there are a million different podcasts and whatnot that’ll do the trick.
Personal Takeaway
Like I mentioned earlier, I had to start a positive self-talk path to get healthier.
I guess I started before I really knew what I was doing.
The power that negative self-talk can have on you is crazy. So, as physics would dictate, the energy that positive self-talk can have should be equally as impressive.
Try the book on Blinkist for free
Get your first book for free on Audible
a Swedish university student, marketing professional, and life-long learner. Here at BookSummaryClub I summarize my favorite non-fiction books into easily digested posts. Hope you like what you’re reading!
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