In today’s complex world, we understand that relationships are an essential part of life, and in most cases, our everyday existence tends to revolve around it. Relationships can make us happy, fulfilled and as well give us a sense of belonging.
However, our relationship may experience downtime from time to time and might occasionally fall apart and compromise our health. One such tendency that can subtly come into our life and have an effect on our relationships and general satisfaction is codependency.
Now, what exactly is codependency? The term “codependency” can be defined as a dysfunctional and toxic reliance on people for our sense of belonging, worth, and emotional wellness.
It often demonstrates an insatiable need to appease others, a fear of rejection, and a propensity to put aside our own needs and desires to appease those of others.
Fortunately, if you are entangled in the web of codependency, there is hope for you and it’s in the pages of codependency books. Books on codependency are helpful tools that lead people on a path of self-discovery, understanding oneself, and recovery.
These books offer practice advice to readers and assist them in escaping codependent habits and help them in developing healthy relationships. Codependency books can also serve as a guide to learning self-care and daily meditation.
Now, come with us as we flip through the pages of some of the best codependency books written by best seller Authors together below:
“Codependent No More” By Melody Beattie
“Codependent No More” was published by Melody Beattie to share all she knows about codependency. She said Codependency is a response to stress in which a person becomes preoccupied with another and loses sight of themselves.
Melody Beattie’s self-help book “Codependent No More” provides a guide to reclaiming your life from codependency.
Codependents frequently suffer from stress and guilt because they neglect their own needs in their efforts to influence the lives of others.
The inspiring lessons in “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie to codependents is about discovering who they are, regaining self-esteem, and living a life that is unrestricted, joyful, and full of happiness.
Melodie Beattie, described as the “queen of codependency,” presents a realistic yet sympathetic picture of codependent people and their challenges by drawing inspiration from her own experience as a codependent and counselor.
You will discover some sobering facts about codependency in Melody Beattie’s book “Codependent No More,” along with practical exercises you can take and a mindset you can adopt to start along the road of recovery.
Furthermore, you’ll eventually develop better coping mechanisms, gain confidence in your capacities, and start experiencing your own emotions rather than those of other people. This book is a masterpiece and deserves a space in your library.
“You’re Not Crazy – You’re Codependent” By Jeanette Elisabeth Menter
What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma, or Toxic Shaming Must know to have peace in their lives:
Jeanette Elisabeth Menter wrote the book “You’re Not Crazy-You’re Codependent” as a roadmap to recovery for everyone as well as codependents who don’t understand what it takes to be independent.
Elisabeth Menter said in her book that she knew the effects of codependency because she was “raised by an alcoholic father alongside her mum, who was neurotic.” She based her writing on all that worked for her in the past.
The book was indeed a story of her personal experience and how she was able to break free, her recovery process, and healing. She was not ashamed of sharing her life experience and her healing for other codependent people to learn from.
She also argues that the term “codependency” has been overused, misinterpreted, and generally not known. While experts who have examined it concur on its characteristics, in her opinion, it is influenced by addiction, abuse, trauma, and/or shame-based relationships or upbringing, which she addresses here. You should get this book; it’s worth all the hype.
“The Language Of Letting Go” By Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie is the author of one of the best codependency books, “The Language of Letting Go.” It is a daily meditation guide published to support those who battle codependency, thereby helping them regulate their behaviors.
The book also offers daily reflections and positive affirmations to support readers and help them on their path toward self-care, self-awareness, and letting go of unpleasant trends, trauma, and addiction.
Melody Beattie is a well-known codependency expert and self-help author who is also a licensed counselor. In “The Language of Letting Go,” she draws on her life lessons and experiences to offer advice and encouragement to those searching for freedom from codependent relationships and behaviors.
In this book, she emphasized the importance of relinquishing control, setting boundaries, and engaging in self-care. It also offers daily meditations to readers, all of which focus on a different part or concept of letting go, including separation, embracing oneself, forgiveness, and trust.
“Set Boundaries, Find Peace” By Nedra Glover Tawwab
A guide to reclaiming yourself
If you’re dealing with codependency and still wondering which book to read, here is one of the best codependency books you can read to find freedom. “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” is a book by Nedra Glover Tawwab that helps people in breaking free and take back control of their lives.
The book focuses on the concept of boundaries as it relates to codependency. It clarifies the definition of boundaries, their significance, the reasons why we lack them, how they appear, etc.
Glover Tawwab also guides readers on how to regulate these boundaries in relationships with others, including those on social media, at work, with family, and with romantic partners. The numerous traits of healthy boundaries will be broken down in this book, along with tips on how to respect others’ boundaries.
Glover Tawwab also pulls from her encounter with having no boundaries, which made life “overwhelming” and “chaotic.” The Author hopes that anyone who lays hold of this masterpiece that is going through the same phase in his/her life will get the self-assurance and bravery to establish sensible boundaries in their own lives.
“Facing Codependence” By Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, and J Keith Miller
If you’re dealing with codependent relationships or have low self-esteem, “Facing Codependence” by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, and J. Keith Miller should be added to your book collections.
It is a well-known self-help book that focuses on codependency and offers advice to codependent people who are dealing with emotional abuse, lack of personal reflections, or human magnet syndrome.
Codependency is said to be a psychological and behavioral disorder that can arise in relationships when one person leans too much on the partner for their sense of self-worth and identity. It often means the person lacks personal healthy boundaries and an unhealthy dependency on others for affirmation and recognition.
Most times, codependent people often neglect their own needs and wants in favor of those of others and sometimes to the detriment of their wellbeing. “Facing Codependence” detailed the causes of codependency and how it can affect a person’s relationship, self-esteem, and personal development.
Furthermore, the Authors made use of useful tools and practical exercises to assist people in identifying and overcoming codependent habits. They talk about things like establishing healthy boundaries, enhancing one’s self-esteem, and creating better interpersonal connections.
“The Codependent Parent” By Barbara Cottman Becnel
Free Yourself by Freeing Your Child
The Codependent Parent, written by Barbara Cottman Becnel, is a self-help book to help people who have codependent parents. The Author narrates her life experience in this book. She talked about her mum, who is codependent with her even though she is now an adult.
In this book, “The Codependent Parent,” the author shared her experience of giving in to her family members’ requests. She claims that she was codependent on two codependency victims.
The author also shared that several forms of codependency exist in families that everyone should know, such as an authoritative parent, an overprotective parent, a demanding parent, and a critical parent, among others.
Also, based on interactions with other families who went through the same thing, she was able to gather so much information, which she shared in this book. Barbara also shared some exercises to help children understand the behavioral patterns of their parents.
There are chapters in the book that are directed toward the child as well, even though the book was written with parents in mind. After all, recovery is a mutually beneficial highway.
“Codependency For Dummies” Darlene Lancer
This is a must-read for anyone who wants to read up on codependency but doesn’t know where to start.
Codependency for Dummies is a self-help book by Darlene Lancer that explains what codependency means even to a toddler. In this book, Darlene explained that her aim for writing the book was to help people understand codependency and how they may have developed it. The book is written in such a way that it’s self-explanatory and engaging.
Additionally, it could aid in your self-awareness if you are unfamiliar with the codependency symptoms. The author of “Codependency for Dummies” made an effort to define codependency in this book in order to achieve her aim of reaching out to those who don’t understand what codependency means.
Darlene Lancer also offers some guidance on how to heal using beneficial workouts after learning more about it. She says, “I chose to structure the book in the way you’d experience from the beginning to recovery by first knowing the definition, symptoms, and reasons, and then the evolving process of modifying and healing.
“Women Who Love Too Much” By Robin Norwood
Robin Norwood is the author of this comprehensive book, “Women Who Love Too Much”. The book first went on sale in 1985 and has since gained popularity as a self-help book that targets women who have a history of getting into unhealthy or damaging relationships.
The book explored the basic idea that certain women have and the attraction to unnecessarily clinging to and having total dependence on their relationships. In the course of their relationships, they often neglect their own needs and well-being.
Robin Norwood uses her therapist expertise to provide examples, insights, and helpful advice for women who find themselves involved in these kinds of relationships. She also explained the mental and emotional processes at play in this habit and provided advice on how to escape it.
Furthermore, many readers who have found themselves caught up in unhealthy relationship patterns have found that the book, “Women Who Love Too Much” speaks to them directly. It provides skills and ideas for personal growth and the search for more fulfilling relationships from an affectionate and empowered perspective.
Even though the book primarily concentrates on women, anyone, irrespective of gender, who is dealing with similar interactions with others could benefit from the principles and insights that the Author shared in the book.
Frequently Asked Questions On Books On Codependency
How Do I Cure My Codependency?
Curing codependency is a complex process that often requires self-reflection, personal growth, and professional support. You can do the following to cure codependency:
- Recognize and acknowledge codependent patterns
- Develop self-awareness
- Prioritize self-care
- Set boundaries
- Practice self-reflection and self-improvement
- Build a support network
- Seek therapy or counseling
- Challenge negative beliefs
What Do Codependents Crave?
Codependents have some emotional and psychological needs that drive their behavior. Codependents crave the following:
- They always crave approval and validation
- They crave stability and security
- External focus
- Connection and Intimacy
What Is The Best Therapy for Codependency?
The most effective codependency therapy usually combines several techniques that are specifically tailored to the demands of the patient. These are a few treatments for codependency that are often utilized by most individuals:
- Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
- Group Therapy or Support Group
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
- Psychodynamic Therapy
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
What Mental illness is Codependency?
Codependency is not a mental illness. It is a phrase used in the treatment of addiction in the field of psychology to describe a pattern of destructive actions and ideas in interpersonal relationships.
Wrapping Up On Best Books On Codependency
If you’re codependent and looking for a way to break free and recover from codependency, this post has summaries of the best books on codependency that can help you heal from a codependent relationship. This post also contains books for codependent parents and children.
If you want to heal from trauma, and addiction, break out from unhealthy codependent relationships, and cultivate the habit of daily meditations, the books here should be your go-to.